Dart Center for Journalism and Trauma

Kristen,

This is why you are destined for such great things. The letter you wrote to Terry ... was the story (the hard truth story). Though, unfortunately, the one we could probably never print in a community paper.

There's so much humanity in your vision of the whole thing that it awes me. I was at the same place at the same time and didn't open myself to seeing the "person" that left this world yesterday. All I saw was a smashed up car and a charred vessel of the soul that no longer remained inside. I couldn't allow myself, especially at that moment, to think of all that she was in life and who she may have left behind. The thought of her parents kept trying to run across my mind, but I quickly wiped them away and replaced them with less painful thoughts. Though now, I'm feeling like I wished so badly I had let myself experience the "truth" of the wreck, no matter how painful.

In a way I had given my own "truth" to the situation which was not the truth at all. You saw the real truth. You saw what others would have passed by, not wanting to connect any humanity to the situation. You have opened my eyes in a way. How can we be true reporters if we don't allow ourselves to feel real feelings and emotions? Just like we can't chose to ignore pertinent facts to make a story what we want it to be, I don't see how we can do our jobs if we choose to ignore our natural human emotions and feelings that any normal person would experience in the same situation.

Do we go to a fatality each time, looking for the true life story of the person — knowing full well that it may sadden us deeply to connect in such a way, or do we try to pretend that the person wasn't a person, and blind ourselves from feeling the loss in order to just do our basic job to report that a deadly wreck happened?

It's a strange question to think about, but one that probably should be thought more of. I think it's wonderful that others will be able to read your account of that day and contemplate those questions. I applaud you for your wisdom of not just assuming that the less painful way is the best way — like I did.

Your friend,
Jen