Columbine: Reporter's Perspectives, Part I

They spend a lifetime covering city council meetings, working the police beat and sitting through school board meetings. From solid waste to sparkling rivers, they cover the news of their community - whether it is along the beaten path or a few steps into the road. But every now and then when their mind drifts away from the day's events, nearly all journalists wonder what it would be like if the big one ever came their way.

Some experts say that the number of critical incidents - school shootings, hurricanes, bombings, floods - appears to be on the rise. As the number increases each year, more and more journalists are being dispatched to the scene of traumatic events. And, like the reporters who covered the worst school massacre in history at Columbine High School last year, they may sometimes find that the experience was more than they bargained for.

"It scorched your soul," said Ann Schrader, a medical/science reporter for The Denver Post who covered the massacre at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999. "It made you really look down deep within yourself."

On one side, she said, it was heartbreaking but on the other, it was a huge news story.

"These were not just numbers, these were people," Schrader said. "You had to try to be as sensitive as you could but yet still be competitive and bring people the news."

After the first report of the shooting came across the newsroom, Schrader headed for Swedish Hospital. She was halfway there when she was rerouted to the triage site near the school. Later in the day, she would report to nearby Leawood Elementary School, where her daughter was a fourth-grade student at the time and families of Columbine students waited to be reunited.

Like many of her colleagues, Schrader said her feelings about the story changed over the course of the next year.

"It was tough," she said. "People in the community grew to hate us. At times they would slam the door in our face and say nasty things about us."

For Schrader, the constant intrusion into the lives of those connected to the Columbine story eventually crossed the line.

On Oct. 26, 1999, Schrader said The Denver Post received a tip that Carla Hochhalter, the mother of a Columbine student partially paralyzed in the school shooting, had committed suicide. An editor asked Schrader to go interview the woman's neighbors.

Ironically, Schrader was scheduled to attend a presentation at Leawood Elementary School that same day for Mrs. Hochhalter's daughter, Anne Marie. Instead of taking the editor's order, she drove to the school where students had raised nearly $13,000 for Anne Marie.

When Schrader reached the school, Anne Marie and her father were about to leave. She realized that they had not yet been notified of the suicide attempt. Minutes later, a call back to the newspaper office confirmed Mrs. Hochhalter's death.

"When I went home, I told my husband what had happened and I lost it," Schrader said.

Not long after arriving home, an editor at The Denver Post called and again asked Schrader to interview the Hockhalters' neighborhood and to get an accurate "picture" of the deceased woman.

"What are we going to get out of this?" an emotional Schrader asked her editor. "I don't know if I can do this."

Although Schrader left her home to cover the assignment, she never made it to the Hockhalters' neighborhood. Instead, she called the office and told them she could not do the assignment. In turn, she said editors assigned another reporter to the story, who unknowingly knocked on the door of one of Mrs. Hockhalter's best friends, who had not yet been notified of the death.

Back at the office, an emotionally charged Schrader asked the city editor to consider bringing in counselors to get a better understanding of what reporters were doing to members of the community and to themselves. As a result, mental health counselors who had been dealing with the victims' families were brought in to provide insight into what the families were experiencing.

"Covering Columbine [taught] me that I've got to rely on my own gut on what's right and what's wrong," she said.

Despite the physical and emotional strain of covering a traumatic event, Schrader believes such an experience helped to improve her skills as a journalist.

"I learned some things about approaching people and being sensitive to them that grew out of the Columbine experience," Schrader said. "When I was a young reporter, I always liked to have this line between me and my subjects. Then, as I grew the line started to be erased. I think that line has to be erased to be able to really talk to people on a human level."

Columbine: Reporter's Perspectives, Part II

Local Columbine Courier reporter Caren Boddie, who arrived at Columbine High School before other media and most emergency personnel, has since left the small weekly newspaper.

Boddie's home and Columbine High School are both located in unincorporated Jefferson County. She was at home when her editor called about the shooting. In 10 minutes she was on the scene, while the killers were still in the building.

"The weirdest thing is those guys were still alive inside shooting and the fire alarm was going off, but it was just a heavy silence where I was. I didn't hear any of that stuff. Maybe I did hear it and I just blocked it out, but what I remember is silence."

The area had not yet been secured, Boddie said. She saw a law officer and ran to him, stating she was going to follow him.

"He looked like he was really in shock," she said. "He didn't question it. Then a couple of grown men ran out of the building and we ran over to them. They had seen where the incident just started. One had tried to warn students and the other just hightailed it."

At that point, Boddie said, the officer turned toward her and issued a warning. If she used any of the statements the men were giving, he said, she could be prosecuted.

Soon, the chaos began and those who had escaped from the school started to congregate at the police line now marked with tape. The sound of helicopters and sirens of emergency vehicles filled the air, and Boddie began to interview students.

"One thing that stands out in my mind," she said. "These kids (Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold) were persecuted in the school. I think back to that moment at the police tape and everybody — all of the students — said they were constantly picked on."

Since Columbine was her beat, Boddie covered the story for months. "It was overwhelming," she said.

"It was supposed to be this part-time job that was supplementing my other income and it had become my whole life. I went up to full time and beyond."

As a result, Boddie said, she confused her priorities. "The paper was first and my family was second," she said. "I was too stressed and it was affecting my family."

In addition to the stress of covering the story, Boddie said some glaring headline errors, particularly one on an exclusive story with the school librarian, made the situation worse.

"Most of the students who were killed died in the library," she said. "It was very, very sensitive — she put her career on the line. At that time, the parents were all understandably upset with the school and administration. She was very careful about what she said. She was very supportive of the parents."

During a phone interview with the librarian, Boddie said a student had come in complaining about the temporary library the students had to use after the original facility had been boarded up. The librarian asked the student if he wanted to speak to Boddie.

When he got on the phone, Boddie said, he praised the librarian and talked about how much he wanted the old library back. During the conversation, the student said he thought the librarian should have her classroom back.

Unfortunately, Boddie said, the story was published with the headline: "Librarian wants her classroom back."

"It was just devastating to her," Boddie said, noting that the librarian has since left the field of education.

The intense dislike and distrust for the media that grew out of Columbine also influenced her decision to leave the newspaper, Boddie said.

"When you come from New York and you cover the story and go home, it's not a biggie to you if you upset people. They weren't really upset about what I had written, just the media. The people here grew to hate anybody who had anything to do with the media. This is my community and that just became way too much for me."